the rhapsody of my dream..

What is love?

2007-01-02T01:55:00.000+08:00

I guess this should be a very simple question, but the answer is just complicated. Should love be as simple as ABC or as complicated as the toughest addmaths equations you found in the thick text book??

WHAT IS LOVE? I guess at this point of time, i'm not very sure either. Should it be sweet and happy or sad and bitter? Is it always a mixture of feelings that make us not sure of what it should be? Does love only occurs to 2 person who has so much in common, or so much in difference? Does the more similarity means better match or the other way round? Why does it just makes yr heart feels like being sting by millons of needles? Why? Why must it be so complicated? Am i just complicating it? Or ...

I'm not sure if this is real.. Is this love? Or just something that doesnt meant to be....
Can someone tell me this....? I'm so... despaired.

:(

Everyday is a brand new day..

2006-04-15T01:16:00.000+08:00

I was too bored, i decided to run through the whole stack of vcd i have in the folder. (yes im outdated i know..still vcd) After ransacking the folder, i decided to watch "50 first date". It was really a touching love story. It reminds me that, love can be as sweet as that.. wake up everyday to fall in love with someone all over again..

Life is never perfect, but having someone to love and love you, is gonna make it all right again. Someone who is willing to be there for you, even know he knows that you are gonna forget abt him every single day after u go to bed.. Someone who is willing to update u all over again what happened every single day..and waits for you to fall in love with him all over again.. Someone who is willing to wait so patiently for your love.. EVERY SINGLE DAY.................................!!! God is always fair.. She deserves all those with the sacrifies for her memory everyday..

Everyday is a brand new day.. even if you have forgotten all about yesterday, you will still have a brand new day.. with brand new excitement.. and brand new journey..

Everyday is a valentine's day.... if you found the right person to be with.. I wished everyday is a valentine's day for me.. throughout my life.. :)

Who are you??...............

气象报告: 阴天

2006-04-13T10:17:00.000+08:00

阴云密布的天气。。
仿佛和我的心情一样。。好沉闷噢。。
我想。。大概是老天爷也在同情我吧。。

下场大雨。。。。把我的悲伤给带走。。。
谁会来给我撑伞呢?

希望雨天快点过去。。
我等待晴天的来临。。等待雨后的彩虹。。

我相信时间。。可以冲淡所有，所有的一切
我可以不可以不那么坚强吗?

I need some time..

2006-04-12T18:30:00.000+08:00

Letter to God:

Dear God,

Can i buy some time? I need more time. More time..

Love,
Me.

Have You Ever?

2006-04-12T02:53:00.000+08:00

Have You Ever?

Have you ever loved somebody so much.. It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad.. You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love.. Been in love so bad

You'd do anything to make them understand

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away

You'd give anything to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say

And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much.. It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad.. You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one

You've dreamed of all of your life

You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to

Only to find that one won't give their heart to you

Have you ever closed your eyes and

Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much.. It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad.. You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby

What do I gotta say to get to your heart

To make you understand how I need you next to me

Gotta get you in my world

'Cuz baby I can't sleep...........

chillin' saturday afternoon

2006-04-08T12:56:00.000+08:00

hi peeps, im back! haha.. sorry for not undating my blog for ages. as you know how lazy i get sometimes. time flies... it was 2 months since i last blogged. and things change, ppl changes, and things happened. hehe, anyways, dun think anybody reads my blog lar.. im jus grumbling and complaining all the time. NO FUN!!!

haha.. hmm.. lately i read a book about "~~understanding men~~ men & relationship" wow.. amazingly i found out that men was really a really a very lazy when they come to thinking. women are a very complex thinking system. that's why women always get disappointed when they dun get the answers they want from men, cos you know why? they simply dont know what to answer you, cos the questions you asked never came across their mind before. cranky! haha..

hmm life eh? that's one quote that my fren always mentioned. why? i dont wanna surrender to the fate of my life. i wanna change it to what i want in life. but sometimes, there are a lot of thing that are out of your control. I hate it when things got out of my control. haha.. but tat's life!!

i dont know what else to write. probably i will continue later when more juice comes in. cya!

Helpless?

2006-02-14T18:44:00.000+08:00

Feeling helpless? Don't be. Cause by the end of the day, you'll still be on your own. Stand strong and fight your way through.

I always believed that being a little more helpful doesnt hurt much. I always believed that lending a helping hand is never too much. And i always believed that you have to help each other when your friends screwed up. Why? Because, for what you have done, they will help you back too, one day... No, not asking for any returns.. just someone that is willing to help you when u screw up too!!

*snap* WAKE UP DUDE!!!! Stop dreaming! That will never come true. People come to seek help when they needed some, but when you need a lending hand.. sorry..nobody in sight.. Forget about those nice words they told you while they need a favour.. cos after that its wiped off clean from their memory. Not even a dot remains. Craps..

From now on, no more Ms Nice Girl. No more Ms Helpful. No More. What's the point? NO POINT. Just be slutty and bitchy. As i always said, only ~~sluts n bitches~~ manipulating ladies get their ways. So, why not?

That's human. That's life. Live with it!!!!

Oh yea, happy valentine's day!

Sayonara 2005.. Flashbacks........

2005-12-31T01:32:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone.. its time to say goodbye to the good old year 2005..
Today will be the last day of the year.. and hope that many many returns for year 2006! I just can't wait!
A joy in me that hopes that everything is goin smoothly as ever this coming new year, but the fear in me is praying hard that things don't get worse!! *choi choi.. good ones to come!!*

This 2005 has been a good and bad year for me. I'm glad that its gonna be over in a day??
Now, what did i do, and what happened this whole damn long year?! Beats me.. Lots of misfortunes.. i guess,
From mistakes, we learnt how to get our ass up again, and continue walking.. and hopefully wise enough to avoid any bumps & humps ahead. The year of Rooster is said to be a bad year for all Rooster Chinese Horoscope peeps.. Come to think of it, it wasnt a great year for me either... (Im Rooster too!)

Bad & Sad & Unlucky & Hope "it will not be repeating" moments:
1. Lost someone I love dearly... (not dead :P)
2. 2 very expensive lessons in S'pore (Sigh..)
3. Unhappy at work (Previous job)
4. Jobless for a month!!
5. Diet plans failed (as usual )
6. Lost a dear friend (I miss her...)
7. Bad financial year!!!! (Please improve!! I have bad finance management skills! haha )
8. Accident! (Hafta compensate when I'm really really broke! sob! )
9. Hou Sum Mou Hou Bou (There were a few fortune tellers telling me that, i shudnt be too kind helping ppl around, cos this year is really not my year.. instead of being appreciated, you get backstabbed! I should have believe in them................)
10. Even my monitor bullied me.. ROSAK!!!!
11. Wayyyyyyyyyyyyy overspent!!!!!
12. Sold my good old N6260 and got Panasonic V6 which i dont fancy even a bit..(Long story..)
13. Went for freckles removal at some ah pek's place..and ended up with scarssss!!! SOBBBBBBBBBBB.... strange thing is my fren's face is spotless clean after that..... SIGH!!!! Tong Yan But Tong Meng!!!
14. Lots of bad debtsssssss......... (SIGHHHHH!!)
15. Forever continous problems with my car (I swear no more M'sian Made cars!!!)
16. Flat Life (I need more sugar & spice!! Not only lo lo lo lo lo.. Must got Peak time oso wat!)
17. Met some weird funny people.. (Weirdosssssssss)
17. etc etc etc.. I cant remember!! But tonsssssssssssssssss........

GOOD & Hope it happens again and again!!!:
1. I get to go Taiwan to see Wang LeeHom.. (Thanks to MNC)
2. Went HK for a short relaxing trip.. (with my dear fren..lots of fun!)
2. I went to S'pore for Biz Trip (ACM 2005)
3. Got myself a job I enjoy doing now(yeah, current job)
4. I met a few angels this year!! (You know who you are ;) thanks for coming into my life)
5. Learnt that life is just as complicated.. and Im just too naive..
6. Learnt that things you work hard for.. is very much rewarding :D
7. Got some very good job offers (Im flattered!!)
8. FINALLY, my first trip to Penang.. during Christmas(Ok, i admit im sakai la..so stop laughing can?? Lucas gave me 3 stracthes for souvenir from Penang :S )
9. Got 2 bunches of roses on my birthday!! (Yeay!! Flowers, flowers n MOREEEE flowerss..sweet!)
10. A wonderful and memorable birthday party my dear frens organized for me (I got a disanour with blinking eyes, a human with ribbons (Im serious!!), and a sexy lacy pink lingerie!! (Can safe for honeymoon eh? :P)
10. Some turn arounds in finance management.. (Only very recently..hope its getting better!)
11. More biz trips to gooooooooooooo.. (Yippee!!!)
12. Got myself a webbie! Set up Streamyx! (Cool & Fun!)
13. Watched a wonderful movie tonight (Perhaps love...Perhaps not love :P)
14. Verl got me Ventian Doll from ROME!!!! (My next destination.. Europe! If i managed to save enough $ )
15. Silk bedsheet set Ez got me from Aussie (Need a double bed for that :P)
16. Lucks coming back to me after some SMSes to Santa!! and its great! (Dont ask me how i did that, cos my well wisher sent it for me.. I obviously do not have Santa's contact :P )
17. Met up with some long lost frens during my Penang Trip (Need to do more catchups!)
18. Finally and patiently grow my hair to the longest length! Yeay~ Nice sikly long hair!! :P
19. Lots lots lots, more more more, plentyyyyyyyyyy good stuffs to come!!!!

Hehe.. i guess that's all for now.. More good stuffs coming a long.. happiness & Joy!
Good luck peeps! Hereby, I wish everybody a very merry happy NEW YEAR!!

CHEERZZZZZZZZZZz...

I Hate Myself for Loving You..

2005-12-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

It has been a long long time since i last blogged. And hehe, yea im just lazy.. Lots of things happeneing lately..and probably i have problem digesting everything at a go. I'm just drown with sorrow..and i cant think well, sleep well, eat.. yes WELL..but no no good, cos i need to shed some pounds... (been saying that for a long timeeeee.. )

Have you ever had hard time making decisions? Well, I'm always stucked when i need to make decisions. That's so not me.. I used to be a sharp decision maker..and i wonder where that part of me has gone.. Probably just lacked a bit of confident in myself. Or.. I'm not sure myself either..

Sometimes, working hard for sometimes doesnt mean its fruitful. And isnt it disappointing to see it turned out the other way round? Oh wat the heck.. i did my best..and why am i rewarded with shits.. That's so god damn unfair! Ok, let's just hope god is arranging something else for me. To compensate what i have lost.. Maybe it will make me feel better.

Recently, i made (my frens helped lots) a decision that somehow i don't know why i changed my mind in the end. I ended up feeling nauseous all over again. I struggled my way thru.. I just pray hard i made the right move. Too many circumstances to consider, and there are always pro and cons in each decisions. Which would you choose?? Maybe you will consider what is more important to you.. BUT EVERYTHING SEEMS SO IMPORTANT to me at this point of time. I cant decide.. i just CANT!!!! Right now, Im still wondering did i made the right choice? People might comment that I'm so silly.. I gave up a damn good opportunity.. Why? Becos i love him.. I love him enough to make this decision.. But i seriously cant be sure that he will do good to me.. But i would certainly hope that this will be the 1st step to bloom.. into a beautiful flower..

Seriously.. I dont know if i regretted making this decision.. Everything i think of it, the devil in me tells me im stupid, but the angel in me tells me im right. That's so confusing.. NO, Im confusing myself.. Which decision is made, there's no point thinking about it anymore. I hate myself for loving you........

Corpse Bride..

2005-10-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

Yeay! Another premier..thanks to Winnie! *muaks muaks*

Well, what does animation or cartoons remind you of?
Colorful and lively, warm and friendly at least? This animation shows the exact opposite.
Everything is so dull and 'cold'.. so.. chilling..eerie and.. almost colorless!! everything is in shades of black and white.. and greys.. its based on '19th-century European village' kinda backdrop.. so i cant imagine how colorful it can be anyways.... *grin*
hm.. the cinema air conditioner is cold enough and plus the 'coldness' of the movie.. its just a perfect match!!! COLDNESS through the whole show..

Yah, oh well, its something new.. but.. hmm.. not really my cup of tea.. keke..
well like winnie says, probably different concept..its Tim Burton's not Disney's..kekeke..

If you are expecting something hilarious or exciting? or action? You might wanna try something else ... *oppss*

Walking to New York..

2005-09-25T11:07:00.000+08:00

歌曲：走路去纽约
歌手：陶晶莹

每一次我想见到你就要飞
无论地球上哪一角我一天就到
用飞的原因不外乎时间太少
你想拥有我每一秒你今天就要
我飞的机会太多
有时因为你有时为自己
我飞过好万里
不觉得那会是距离
突然很想不要飞想走路去纽约
看看这一路我曾经忽略的一切
走路去纽约也让感情在时间里
有机会沉淀自己

fly.. fly me to polaris.. or whever i can go.. i have always wanted to travel around.. go wherever my legs could take me.. see whatever my eyes could see.. touch the further star shinny brightly beyond my reach.. those are my dreams.. yet to come true.. i wanna set my footsteps everywhere in the world!!

walking to new york.. this song makes me feels like being a wanderer.. walking to new york alone is to darn far.. but i guess it would be a different story if you have someone walking beside you.. Let's walk to new york together :)

1 Month Anniversary

2005-09-19T21:32:00.000+08:00

Today Im celebrating my 1 month Anniversary.. being a slacker.. keke..

Hurrayyy..... Those dark cloudes are gone once and for all.. My world is shinning brightly as ever now... I can see the sun shines in between the clouds... It's gonna be sunny days ahead!! And I can imagine myself strolling down the garden.. keke..

In 2 days time.. i will be stripped of this title "jobless".. at least for sometime ahead.. Yeah yeah.. I had enough rest.. I had enough fun.. slacked and took my sweet time doing what i wanted to do.. stoned and lazed around... but im fully rechargeddddd NOW.. I think Im as good as energizer batteries *LoL*

Im so relief after i made my decision.. Previously, I was still in dilemmas.. Singapore or Malaysia????? That question was ringing in my head so often that i simply forgot what's my dog's name.. err.. but i dont have a pet dog.. exactly!!! I was going crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....... *LoL*

Anyways, I've learnt a lot.. during this one month.. and sad to say that I experienced and saw some tragedy which reveals how the real world really is.. I dont know if i should be happy Im living in it, or be gladful that Im not part of it? Bets me..

Well its okay.. nothing is perfect. I've learnt to move on.. move forward.. and continuously, never give up searching for your dreams.. One day.. I will succeed.. one day... :)

My Lucky DAY!! :)))

2005-08-29T10:17:00.000+08:00

Ok.. its been quite sometimes since i last blogged. Im too lazy to.. hehe.. holiday mood mah! been slacking and lazing around like nobody businesssssssss since god knows when!!! haha.. anyways.. something interesting happened today. I woke up this morning feeling hungry. There are some bread on da table, so immediately it reminds me of Kim Gary's French Toast. Easy!! I took an egg from the fridge n cracked it into a bowl.. GUESS WAT! a 2 yolks egg!!!!!!.... hahaha.. ya ya.. i know it was not something Spectacular..but how often can you cracked an egg with 2 yolks?! Did i told you its my lucky day? I got a call right after that for interview!!!!!! hahahaha.. oh.. did i tell u its my lucky day again... another one just called......hahaha.. oh my.. and guess what?!?! another calleddddd again... 3 calls for interviews in a row!!! i have only 1 word to describe that.. "LUCKY" :) yipiieee.. made my day!!! Welcome back Lady Luck! :)

my bro said it's all because he brought me to the beach yesterday to wash away all my bad lucks.. but i didnt swim what.. how to wash? SO... is it because of the twin egg or the beach..? you tell me :)

My Last Day in MNC

2005-08-19T11:00:00.000+08:00

For the past 3 days, the word "hungry" never come across my mind. NEVER.. been eating farewell lunches and dinners with my colleagues.. and my!! i had 3 full meals everyday!!!.. well, my diet goes down the drain.. but its ok, soon to be, its my 1st experience leaving a company.. my 1st job which lasted me 2 and a half year now.. and im happy for all the ppl i met and guided me along the way.. im grateful.. and happy :)

Some memories flashed back.. if i were to have a R.I.P stone for my stay in MNC.. it will be somesort like ..
"CHELSEA TAN, 21st APR 2003 - 19th AUG 2005 ::L.I.P::(Left in Peace & Pieces)"
Ha ha ha ha ha....

I wanted to write the recollection of my existence in MNC, but i decided not to. i guess the people that goes through the up and downs will know what we have been through together.. maybe in the next few days, i might rewrite the entry..but.. nah..not today.. i wanna leave with smilesss on my face.. so that i wont ruin my makeups as well.. (effort of putting up make-ups for 3 days in a row)..

Unfortunately, goodbyes are part of life. But I reckon for every farewell there's another hello that awaits.. and im waiting for the day i see you all not as colleagues but as friends :)
please please dont make me cry today......

Masterpiece

2005-08-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

Was backing up my stuffs.. and look what i found?! Some masterpiece i've got for one of my previous project.. quite cool leh.. love's in d air.. haha! enjoi!

Just as a poet needs inspiration to write a masterpiece, I need you..
Just as an artist needs a subject for his work of art, I need you ...
Just as a teacher needs a pupil to mold into greatness, I need you..
Just as a composer needs a theme to create a timeless melody, I need you..

For without you, my life would be empty of all inspiration. There will be no work of art for me to gaze at; no person of greatness before me; no timeless melody to listen to. My life will exist in shades of gray instead of vibrant colors, and I will be less than whole.

In the past, the proper words have escaped me, and my innermost feelings have been kept locked away in the depths of my heart. No more - for through this letter, I proclaim to you, my undying love and eternal devotion.

So Momentary..

2005-08-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

There are things in life that are inevitable; I am powerless to control them.

The Sun will rise and set, the tide will come in and go out, the seasons will change, the birds will fly South for the winter and return in the spring, and the caterpillar will transform itself into a butterfly.

Somehow, I feel reassured by this because many other things in life are so transient - so momentary.

What makes a good salesperson?

2005-08-17T11:49:00.000+08:00

(::winnie in da pic::)
Haha, over dinner with my galfren winnie.. i told her about the so called "unformal interview" i had over the weekends. Well, haha.. i was asked to sell a Nokia 6230 for $1k.. OKAY!! 1st thought in my head.. err..dont think it worth that much?!?! there you go.. too honest leh hor? Im not saying salesperson are dishonest people, but just they know how to talk things out, jumble up n replace everything in a nice way.. well, i guess the most important point is.. "YOU GOTTA TRUST YR PRODUCT!!". I was thinking if im given a chance to do sales, i guess i would wanna try..

Ok! and.. winnie is always a very smart witty n 'out of the world' girl with lots of funny thoughts and idea.. so happened i asked her this..

Chelsea: "Winnie dear.. Sell me this pair of disposable chopstick for $500. Convince me!"

Winnie: "Okay..here goes..Chelsea I think you should invest in my pair of chopstick because it is the one and only on earth. It’s a rare antic and it’s blessed by Master Jing Gong for real which would help you to improve your life significantly. People out there are bidding hard for it and now I’m presenting you the opportunity and honor to own this wonderful treasure at a discounted price….” (copied frm her blog..well its her thoughts wat :P)

Okay..its not bullshit lah ok.. at least i never thought of telling ppl about Master Jing Gong to sell my products le.. You are good mah..creativity counts!!!!

and oh BTW, i did asked her how would u sell the phone for $1k? guess what my cute fren told me..

Winnie: “Because it has my nude photos in it...???”
Chelsea: “…………………”

*giggles*

Counting days.. 2 days..

2005-08-17T09:38:00.000+08:00

Last night, i went to the premier of Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Well, i dont usually like stories which are err.. not logic or.. too 'out of the world' kind (ok, im not creative i know! boo!), but the movie left winnie with lots of thoughts and my, she's such a creative person. Talking about "if the world explode...the cyberspace wont.. watever we contribute to the www willl remain.. in the future there will be this ' techonology archeologist' specialise in researching the www, digging out our work our phylosophy our idea, examining the possibilities.. so when we are GONE. our spirit is not. our contribution is not.. " haha, yes winnie i do agree, you are the people of the future!! keke..

again..counting down.. 2 days left.. i will be showered with farewell lunchs/dinners.. which i really appreciate the last few moments of being together under one roof.. and at the same time, the feeling of sadness is getting stronger inside me.. oh well, people move on, life moves on.. nobody is waiting for you so.. gotta be cool! as for me, i'll try to stay pretty..so that everyone will remember me..the way it is................

Counting days.. 3 days...

2005-08-16T10:20:00.000+08:00

im counting the days down the road.. another 3 days.. i'll be out of where im right now.. off to a new journey outside the world. being too protected in this environment for 2 and 1/2 years now, its time to see how the world is like out there.. it might not be pleasant, it might not be as cool.. but its a journey of a lifetime. never tried, never know..that's that i have been convincing myself all these while.. after i made up my mind to do the neccesary. i believe that i did the right choice.. it doesnt matter what other people think.. it doesnt make any differences.. its my life.. :)